I can’t be happy .
It’s sad . It’s fucking depressing . It hurts .
Because really , whenever I try to be happy again , the memories of my past just flows back right into my mind again , like as if it’s a warning , that I can never be happy no matter what happens really .
Like it didn’t hurt enough for me to already know about my past . Yeah like thanks brain , you did well once again .
I need to find relief again ….
I not ready to be happy .
Because I can’t . I just can’t .