As I’m laying down on my bed in the most agonizing feeling ever and down with a bad case of flu , I’m gonna blog because I kinda have nothing to do well ok actually I do but I miss blogging alittle okay????? Ugh. And I kinda have a confession.
I need help . I need help of people who cares for me and such and help me get over it . I need to be surrounded with people who loves me and care for me and remind me from time to time that I am not alone there’s no reason for me to keep relapsing ,no reason for me to think negatively in life . I need people to want me as much as I want them because I just feel like I try too much for them to stay in my life but to them I was just probably nothing .
& I’m tired . People do not know how hard it is to control the addiction you once had and that gets me mad because they know no reasons for nuts why people go into relapse !
It’s frustrating and saddening at the very same time because they do fucking judge you y’know ?
I wish people would be more broad-minded .
I miss you. It’s been days since we last talked . I know I said let’s be strangers or whatnot again but I just can’t help to feel worried for you at times when you’re out to drink and have fun and do shit .
And shit you’ve been smoking so much lately as always pisses me off but yet I can’t do anything any longer because I’m no longer who I was I thought in your heart . I’m just a memory .
You gave up on me when you had no idea how much I was going through to fix myself back instead of handling out the broken pieces of me to anyone I see . But I guess I couldn’t blame you because in my life , everyone just gives up and leave on me . I guess this is something I can never get but get used to .
I just wish you had fought for me because I thought , to you , I was worth it . But it turns out , I wasn’t . Not enough .
I’m never good enough for anyone and I never will be .
And maybe if I have realized this sooner ,
I’m just a memory everyone hates .