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It’s been long.

2016 has arrived and just the start of the year it has been painfully awful. 

My baby boy has passed away on 11/1. 

Every night has been dreadful, it feels like every inch of me has been sucked away into darkness and everything feels ……. Nothing. No words could describe how badly I miss him. No one to follow me around the house anymore, or come up to me and ask for pats letting me hug. Feels like my soul is drained but yet I am unable to fall asleep without crying silently till dawn. I am so so tired……… From everything. The only one who try to comfort me whenever I cry or when I come home from having a bad day by nudging me and giving me kisses. I am absolutely heart shattered.
————

On the other hand, things have been filling up my mind lately, toxic thoughts toxic thoughts…….. Feels like a cycle that never ends. I’m so mentally and emotionally drained. I wish………..

I was the one who died instead. 
  
Rest in peace my sweetest boy x

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