“Do you have any idea how selfish you are if you are to think like that? What about your parents? Your family? Your friends? Have you ever thought about them IF you were to ____________* or become _____________**?”
1)Overdose on pills/ Suicidal
2)Jump down/ Suicidal
“Why are you being like this?/ What is wrong with you?/ Are you okay?/ Stop overreacting ”
Question applies to people who have Anxiety, Panic attacks, Mood swings, Depression, or have a eating disorder(Bulimic, Anorexic, Binge-Eaters), Stress, are abused verbally/mentally/physically etc (Just to name a few)
I’m sure many of you have heard these few questions one way or another.
Today I would like to talk about it in my perspective.
1)It may seem selfish to people who aren’t going through a tough time like the person who is having it yes, but to have a person who decided that ending their life that way is the way to go is cruel to themselves too. Cruel? How so? In a sense that they do not have much willpower/any reason to live on anymore. Which brings me to my next point.
2)“It’s a cowardly way to go.”. IT IS for people whom are strong-willed that thinks that way imo. I personally find it tragic, not because the state they are in after they made their final decision to end their life(post mortem kinda way), but because they thought that that was the ONLY way to end things. Not seeking help from their family, friends………but to end it that way.
3)Some may not find this true, but the reason why they chose to die that way was because of the people that surround them. It’s quite ironic in a sense that *example* you want them to seek help from you but whenever they do, you criticise/condemn them/make the topic on you instead/say nonsensical stuff like “cheer up” like ???? OK THANKS MAN I AM HAPPY NOW!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!// NO I am not accusing that people die because of people and that they should take the blame for causing one to die that way, but the WORDS they hold. I’ll go more in depth on this later.
4)They don’t have time to think it through other options. S.T.R.E.S.S
I strongly believe that stress holds a great weight among all other things that cause people to end their life quickly. Stress is inevitable yes, but too much? It could probably drive you to the edge. Dramatic? I don’t think so. Stress makes you vulnerable. Suicide rates due to stress is rising over the years and whenever I read articles about students/youths/kids ending their life because of stress, my heart breaks every.single.time. It could be because of their parent(s)/guardian peer pressuring them. or over a relationship, or getting bullied in school, anything! It could be anything that makes them stress. Sounds crazy I know. but it’s true.
Is there any possible way you can actually help someone who is going through all of this? Yes.
1) The way you phrase your words are VERY important. I can’t emphasise this freaking enough. “I’m just telling you the truth, stop being a p*ssy, grow up” Some people don’t take things the hard way. If you really want to help someone, it would really help if you talk to them properly, especially if they ARE on the verge to think that ending their life that way is the answer, right? Don’t blame it on your personality or that is your character, or that you’re just being straight forward. How is saying things like “Grow up” or brushing their feelings off makes them feel better about themselves? You’re just adding on the abuse that they give to themselves mentally. Instead you could use the softer approach like just being there and listening to them. And if they DO talk to you about their problems,
2)DO.NOT.CUT.THEM.OFF.LET.THEM.FINISH.!!!!!!. Sometimes they just need a listening ear and rant their mind off. If they want your opinion, they WILL ask. Don’t give them your two cents worth especially when they are talking mid sentence, it will disrupt their thinking and might think that it’s not worthy enough to let you listen because you guys might not connect on the same level(in a sense that you are too much of a person in a good way to be contaminated by their unworthy thoughts.)
3) DON’T MAKE THEM LOSE TRUST IN YOU. If they were to tell you their heartfelt thoughts, it means they trust you to not tell a soul. SO DON’T TELL A SOUL. If they were to find out that there are talks circulating about them, they will be crushed and feel more demoralised upon themselves and blame themselves even more for poor judgement.
4) Actions speak louder than words. Don’t you dare say you’ll be there for them but when shit happens and they are going downhill, you swerve the hell outta their way. Yeah you serve the hell out bitch, because they don’t deserve to be treated that way. They deserve so much more than that. Be there for them by being their listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, or drag them out to have some fun like catch a movie, play games, have a picnic, list goes on. Them being at home makes them feel more pent up and it just makes them feel worst. Even hugging or complimenting them would make them feel so much better about themselves. Deep down they might not believe what you say it’s true, but part of them really want to believe it is too, so show them from time to time, it doesn’t have to be every day, once in a while would be nice too to remind them that they matter to you.
These are just a few of the things I want to point out on in hopes it could help someone who is in need of assistance or knows someone who is going through a tough time. People who are depressed, has eating disorders, anxiety issues etc mask themselves really well. They could be the people around you, that girl who is laughing over a stupid joke her friend made while having coffee, the boy who is tying his shoelace in the middle of the walkway , the man who is rushing for work or the lady who is serving you at your favourite restaurant. It could be anyone. Age does not matter when it comes to something that is as serious as this. Would the things I’ve mentioned above able to cure them? No but it might help soothe their demons at some point of day. It helps more than it looks sometime.
This whole post is mainly written for the parents out there. It is very important to know issues like these that the society don’t talk about often because some find that it is a taboo subject. That mental issues don’t exist. It is NOT. It shouldn’t be. Mental issues EXIST. It should be reminded over and over because things might be far more complexed than it looks. This issue should be known like it’s at the back of your hands. And that it is VERY MUCH IMPORTANT. Please don’t ignore the signs. They are suffering in the dark.
Don’t ignore the signs when you find your kid staying in the room more often, getting dark(er) eye circles, don’t interact as much as they used to anymore or feeling fatigue all the time etc.Don’t ignore them. Your child’s mental health should be/IS as important as their physical health.
Try to interact with them on a more personal level, and talk to them in a calmed manner if they did something wrong, and suggest ways to handle things in a better manner. Harsh tones = they might fear you even more/be more angry towards you, What? You can’t help it? You have the right to be mad? But how do you except your child to explain themselves for the things they’ve done without being afraid that you might abuse them? Don’t implement fear on them. Some might not be able to take it and will have an effect on them when they grow up.
Same goes to the kids/youth/child of your parents out there. Your mom/dad/siblings could be hiding behind a mask of mental issues and it is as important for you to know this too. As they feel that because they are your parents/they are “higher authority” than you all of this shouldn’t even matter, that it is just a small problem, easy to deal with. It’s not, okay? Sometime, try to sit down with them and make small talks, it will take their mind off some things too, help out at home, surprise them, write them a short note etc etc. Your parents mental health should be/IS as important as your own too.
I’m not saying that committing suicide is wrong , neither am I saying it’s right. If you can try to prevent someone you hold close to from committing suicide, why not? For all you know you might be the reason why they are alive.. The meaning of it holds more than it shows.
To the people out there who are suffering, this is for you too. I know……..it’s not easy, just take your time, remember to breathe, have your friends/family take you out even though you might not want to leave the house and that staying at home would be a better choice,it’s not because you will feed your toxic thoughts.
Home will not be a home for you, but for your demons if you don’t try to take a minute to get out of the bed and do something that will take your mind off toxic thoughts.
Do something you like, you’re passionate about. Go for a run, to the gym, relief some stress, use those thoughts as energy and push it all out. Take up classes, Go to the mall with your friends, Have dinner with your sibling/parents.Buy that outfit you’ve been wanting to get for the longest time, read a book, listen to music genres that are out of what you like or are used to.
I know you would feel breathless when you feel surrounded, and that you want to go home or that you feel ugly even without looking at your own reflection……or that you don’t deserve to live. YOU ARE NOT. YOU ARE WORTH IT. FIGHT THE DEMONS. FUCK THEM. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THE WORDS THOSE EVIL SPEAKS. YOU BREATHE. Remember to breathe.
You are NOT alone. If you ever feel like you’re alone or that no one understands, write to me. firstname.lastname@example.org . I will listen. Or call 1800-221-4444(Samaritans of Singapore) , or email them at email@example.com , you will be anonymous, not to worry sweetheart. I got you. I swear. x
But after all, these are all my thought on mental issues/awareness at the moment, I write solely in my own opinion, it does not hold account for all but my own. I would probably make another blog post if I were to think of other things I could add on when it comes to certain topics like this. This shouldn’t be a taboo topic in the society because a society is made up by people too who really……masks themselves well.
But in all honesty, typing out makes me feel so much better right now as I’ve been wanting to write about this for months. Till next time. x
P/s: If you agreed to what I’ve said above, please feel free to share! It would be very nice to show awareness on something that aren’t often talked about.