{30•11•2017, 2:10am} 

I’m too sad tonight. 

I just want to talk about it without crying or feeling like my heart aching. I want to talk about how he is still affecting me even when he’s long gone and he shouldn’t be able to do that, Y’know? 

I just want to talk to someone who genuinely cares but at the same time I don’t want to talk about it because it still like an open wound. Everything.really.fucking.hurts. 

I feel so out of breathe. 

I’m trying so so hard to just let it go naturally, to let things pass. Maybe the thing is that I’m actually trying when it should be effortless.

But this week has been so… so hard for me. I feel myself drowning again. 

I hate it. I genuinely hate this feeling because I gave someone the power to hurt me this way even when he’s fucking gone. Like I fucking closed that chapter of my life and yet all the memories keep rushing back to haunt me, taunt me for once again, being so stupid. 

I just want to make it all stop once and for all. 

Calm down honey. 괜찮아 .

(31st December 11:30am update)

I just got my menses my feelings r fucking with me right now lol it the menses talking ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s